Zeenia

Z is for Zeenia

Pappa has been gone for a week now. Silloo called from Toronto last night.

"Zeenia go and check the old house. See if you find the property papers there.We will need to settle . Did you find a will ?"

"No I don`t think he made a will Silloo.  He didn`t even know who he was , where he was. How would he make a will?"

"I have no option but to trust you.Check his cupboard will you ? I will call you next week again," said Silloo.

Zeenia opened Pappa`s rickety wooden cupboard. His faded white shirts were folded neatly next to a few old stained Payjamas.  She yearned for his presence when the sweet sickly smell of Ponds Talcum powder that he kept at the top shelf , hidden from plain sight, filled her entire being.She rummaged through the drawer, pushing aside a few rusted coins, dirty crumpled notes till she found the small wooden box. It creaked softly as she opened it and found what she was looking for. A huge big rusted key. The key to their house in the old mohalla.

She clasped the key and held it close to her heart as she slipped back to that terrifying day 30 years back. Mummy had collapsed and then Pappa had gone with her to the hospital in an ambulance. Silloo had shut the door and both the sisters sat huddled in a corner.Waiting. Soon it was dark and the lone bulb could do little to dispel the darkness in the house. 

"Silloo, I am hungry," Zeenia had whispered.

"There is milk." 

"Nothing to eat?"

"Maybe a slice of bread. Let me check."

"No bread also. There is a packet of parle-g. We can share."

Zeenia lips trembled as she tried to suppress the hunger gnawing her stomach.

"Dolly," Silloo whispered, Pappa will be home soon."

Tears ran down her cheeks. Silloo never called her Dolly. Only Pappa did. She knew right then that  something terrible was going to happen.

Silloo gave her 6 biscuits and a full cup of milk. But it was not enough. Never enough. She was always hungry.She wanted so much more.She finally fell off to sleep on the lumpy mattress, clutching Siloo`s hand for comfort.

It was still dark when the sweet sickly smell of Ponds talcum filled her whole body. She squinted her sleepy eyes as Pappa picked her up. She heard Silloo ask him, "Mummy is gone forever?"

"Shhshh we need to go Silloo. Hold my hand, "he whispered.

She could feel her body flap across Pappa`s shoulders as he locked the main door. 

30 years and not once did they go back. And now Silloo wanted her to go there for some property papers. How dare she ask me to face it all alone? But there was not much she could do. She shut the cupboard and walked to the window. She needed to breathe. And then she spotted Pappa`s rocking chair. She sat on it holding the key close to her heart and finally wept as she realised she was no longer Dolly. Only Zeenia.

You can read more about this family in my A2Z Challenge posts Aala and Eddie

Dear Readers..It has been a fun ride this month.I resumed blogging after a long hiatus and  enjoyed the challenge. Thank you for reading and appreciating. I will be seeing you all around. Take Care

Xerox

X is for Xerox



Xerox! You would think I am asking or telling you to make a copy of something. No I am not.

That`s my nick name. I am Xerox.

Yea that`s what everyone in my colony calls me. I have a twin sister you see.  Tapur. We are 13 now. Identical twins.  Only difference is that she is full 4 minutes 22 seconds older than me.Yet I am the Xerox and she`s the Original.

 Ma is the only one who can tell us apart. Baba calls us Tapur-Tupur. For him we are one. But Ma claims she sees us as two different girls. Yet she buys the same clothes, same shoes, same hair clips, same hair-bands, same socks for us. Identical. Only difference is the  colour. It is always pink or red for Tapur. I get yellow or blue or any other available colour. Even our school bags, water-bottles, tiffin-boxes, pencil-boxes, swimming gears are identical. Everything is identical.

Yet I am labelled Xerox! Why is Tapur Original?


Why ?

Wasim

W is for Wasim


Wasim stood in the balcony of his swanky apartment on the 35th floor. The sky stretched to eternity, some parts were broken by white patchy clouds. An angry streak of red and orange  ran across the horizon. Who said gazing at the sky was peaceful? He wanted to tear out the sky, shred it into pieces,stamp his foot and destroy it completely. And then scream his lungs out.

 He did not.

He could not.

Sometimes he wondered if this crazy life was worth anything ? Anything at all? He was living his dream life in Mumbai. Or was he? He had an envious lifestyle. Did  he? Some days, like today,  he went round and round in circles trying to make sense of his life. Then there were days when he flew high with the belief that he had cracked the code. But they were rare. Very rare.

He was tired. Really, really tired of this constant movement. Like a pendulum. To and fro and To and fro and...endless. There was no stopping.

"Wasim," he heard Sheena call out to him.  "Are you going ?"

That`s when he made the decision.

"Yes," he called out as he climbed the parapet.

Vanessa

V is for Vanessa Girty

She frowned as she looked in the mirror. She could spot a gray hair struggling to slip out from her smooth high bun. She picked up her trusted silver scissors and snapped the errant hair as close as possible to her scalp. Now there, she looked prim and proper. She adjusted the scarf around her neck, tucked her white blouse neatly into her black pencil skirt and  pulled her skin-coloured stockings smoothly over her hairy legs. There was no time to shave this morning- not after she had to spend an hour cooking lunch for her useless brother and equally stupid sister. They were quite rigid about cooking duties.  Surely one of them could have exchanged the lunch duty.She was the one who had to leave early morning. Both the buffoons left for their offices only by 9:30 a.m. They could take over  the morning cooking but as stated earlier-they were buffoons.

She slipped on her high heel shoes-they killed her knees and back -but then they were an essential part of her and played a big role in portraying her as the formidable Miss V. Girty. She wore her maroon lipstick and patted some talcum powder on her neck and finally dabbed some eau-de-cologne. It was frightfully expensive- but she had to wear it, after-all she had to smell pleasant and not like some fisher-woman from the docks!

She picked up her boxy handbag and armed with her floral handkerchief she was ready for school. She glanced at her wrist watch. The huge dial held together by thick black straps showed 7:15 a.m. She was well in time. That snake Ganga won`t get an opportunity to act smart today. He thinks he can get away with his impudent behaviour. He jolly well knew that Miss Girty held the reins of the Accounts section and was now gaining favour with Mother Superior as well. But that did not stop him from trying out his strong-arm tactics with her. She knew how to crush such creatures under her pointy heels. Today she planned to eliminate him forever.She walked into her office at sharp 7:45a.m.

Soon Ganga walked in and slid the muster on her table and she skimmed through it. Mr J. Britto`s signature was missing. The next second Mr Britto materialised in her office and drawled in his sexy voice, “Good Morning Vanessa. Apologies. Can I have the muster please?”

Miss Girty got so flustered that she nearly dropped the muster on the water jug resting on her table. She just nodded dumbly and handed the muster to him.How she loved being called Vanessa! She wanted to flutter her lashes and act all coy but that Ganga stood there grinning like the cat who got the cream.

She knew that today she would have to sign his fraudulent requisition slip for 4 bulbs again!

p.s.  Yes it is  Miss Girty from Francesca and Ganga Prasad in my A2Z Challenge

Tarudi

T is for Tarudi



Dear Tarudi

I always believed you. Every time you told me. Every single day ."This too shall pass."

But it did not pass. Not for a single minute in all these 3 years.

I wish I had not waited for it to pass.

Had I known it would be so  easy, I would have not lived with disgust. Do you know how suffocating it is to be surrounded with so much filth, so much crap all around you ?

Why did you drill this acceptance, this complacency into me? I looked up to you Tarudi and you let me down.

So Tarudi, let me tell you You can do it yourself and not just wish, "This too shall pass."

Love

Saloni

Saloni

S is for Saloni


The Bin

Have you seen the big shiny bin  on the sidewalk?
Full of filth and crap .
The stink is gagging me.
It has to be emptied.

There comes the garbage van.


Dedicated to my late husband Sahil.
                                  From  Love and Life By Saloni.

Quasarbi

Q is for Quasarbi

"Quasarbi," called out Sandhya.

"Why are you screaming? Who is dead?"

"Quasarbi please help me. Just this last time" sobbed Sandhya. 

"That h****** has come home drunk again?"

Sandhya sniffed, "for the last time."

"He has been telling you that since 16 years. And you still believe him."

"This time I managed Quasarbi" she whispered.

Quasarbi`s eyes widened in horror 

"Just as you had told me. Smashed his head with the bat. He was so sloshed he did not fight back." 

Quasarbi took a deep breath. She had managed to do the same with Kadar. She could handle this.

She embraced Sandhya,"Just do as I say.Come we need to clean him. And place him on the floor.Cover him with a sheet and then we  beat our chests and weep."

Sandhya wiped the blood that had trickled on the side of his face. Then dragged him to a clean spot and covered him with a sheet. The whole neighbourhood had gathered and some whispered. "He was not so bad. Only if he was not a drunkard."

 

Tears blinded Qusarbi`s eyes as she looked at Sandhya sobbing inconsolably. There is only so much one should take she thought to herself as she wiped her tears and enveloped Sandhya in her arms.

Paawan

P is for Paawan


Paawan.
He traced the name delicately in his diary.He wanted to add a syllable to it. I.
And then he could be Paawani.

"Paawan," he heard his mother call out. The pen slipped from his hand. His heart thumped and he quickly closed his diary, "Yes Ma."

Omen

O is for Omen

The recorder crooned

"Silent Night Holy night.

All is calm,all is bright"

The night was cold.

The moon sliced into half by the bars

as he looked through the window.

It was a silent night

but the calm eluded him.

He threw the vase and it crashed

into smithereens.

The recorder crooned

Sleep in heavenly peace.

Neel

N is for Neel


"Mamma you got a neel again?"whispered little Aman as he gently moved his fingers on the ugly bruise peeping from under her blouse.

"Hmm," she nodded.

"You slipped again?"

"Yes"

"You should be careful."

"Yes," she whispered as she gathered her 5 year old in her arms.


Neel means Bruise in Hindi.

Marriage

M is for marriage



Peaches and cream is what he wanted

Coffee and chocolate is what he got.

He kicked and shoved and pushed

The bruises healed but the scars remained.

Francesca

F is for Francesca

Fanny straightened her knee length skirt and tucked her blouse and slid her feet into the black sandals. Much as she loved to strut in her pencil-heel shoes, she knew that it was these flat broad strapped sandals that would support her comfortably through the day. She opened the zipper of her sturdy black bag and checked if her wallet, pencil case and keys were in place. This was a routine every morning after had forgotten her keys twice in a row. She could not open her locker and had to manage her class without her copy of grade 4 Maths book.

“Mummy I will see you for lunch.”

 She bent and kissed her mother lying listlessly in bed.

“Ayah will come by 9. Don`t trouble her. And eat your breakfast and fruit Ok?”

 Her mother grunted.

  

"I better rush, its nearly 7:35 a.m."

Fanny walked briskly to school. She was nearly breathless, still she increased her pace as her tiny wristwatch inched to 7:45 a.m. She had to catch hold of the peon before he left with the muster at 7:55 a.m. and placed it in Miss Girty D`souza`s room. How she hated Girty!  Just yesterday she had berated Fanny in a high-pitched voice.

“Ms Benedict. Surely you know that the reporting time is 7.50 a.m. I have told Ganga Prasad to get the muster in my office only at 7:55. I give full 5 minutes of grace period. And still I see you hovering around my office at least once a week.”

“Sorry Miss Girty”, she had apologized in a small voice. “Ayah has not been coming and I have to help Mummy..”

“Miss Benedict, we all have problems.”

“Yes Miss Girty” replied Fanny as she hung her head in shame.

“Good morning Miss,” chirped a little girl.

“Good morning,” Fanny smiled vaguely and continued her hurried pace. Thank God for giving her the wisdom to keep away from her pencil heels. She would have never made it on time she thought as she entered the staff room at 7:51 a.m. breathing heavily. Ganga Prasad was already there waiting to clutch the muster and run to Miss Girty`s room. She gave him a triumphant smile, 

“Ganga Prasad, Good morning.”

“Good morning Missji", he mumbled. He hated it when all teachers reached in time and signed the musters. He would feel as if he had lost a match!

As Fanny walked towards her locker, she noticed the white sticker with her name F. Benedict had started to peel. I will replace it today she made a mental note. She kept her over-stuffed bag and pulled out her plastic tiffin-box and took a big bite of the jam sandwich and gobbled it down hungrily.She had a class in the first period and would get to sip tea only after that. She picked her math book, pencil case and the big wooden ruler as she shut the locker and pulled the key out and kept it safely in her pencil case. She walked out to the ground for the morning assembly.

“Hi Fans. Looking good,” leered Derek his eyes moving appreciatively from her face to her legs. 

She gave him a disgusted look as she continued walking.

“You coming for the mass this Sunday?”

She looked straight ahead and kept walking till she nearly bumped into Mr Britto.

“Hey Francesca, how are you this morning?” he gave her a big smile.

He was the only one who called her Francesca and this was the only time when she felt glamorous. Else she was content being Fanny. She felt her legs go all wobbly and clumsy and her tongue was thick as she tried hard to muster a cool off hand, "Fine."

 Dennis Britto was a charmer and knew the effect he had on the gullible Miss Francesca Benedict. He winked at Derek who scowled back. Derek hated this slimy creature. What the hell was appealing about this snake? Fanny really was daft, he muttered.

 “I will see you in the interval Francesca. Keep one jam sandwich for me, will you?”

Fanny was delirious. How would she plod through the next four periods she wondered? She wanted to kick herself for not wearing her pencil heels. From tomorrow I am going to get up early so I have enough time to walk in my heels to school, she pledged silently.

Eddi

                                E is for Eddi (pronounced Ed-di)

Eddi picked up the frayed diary and flipped through the pages. He couldn`t remember why he had picked up the diary. What was he looking for? He frowned. Maybe someone`s number? But whose? He paused and looked around in confusion. Maybe he had to look up someone`s address? But why? Did he have to visit someone? Or maybe write a letter? He shook his head trying to jiggle and get his memory back in its rightful slot. Nothing. He still couldn`t recall. He sat down on the wooden armchair with the diary still in his hand. This time he flipped slowly and spotted an old photograph. Eddie looked at the black and white faded image with white patches. He fumbled for his glasses hanging from a thick white string around his neck and peered at the picture. He couldn’t read. He wiped the glasses with his vest and tried again. This time he could read “Eddie and Aala, June 1, 1956.” 

Pappa , shu karu thu ? Dolly called out.

“Nothing. Just was …”, he stopped. What was he doing?

Dolly walked up,”Where did you find this picture? Your wedding day.”

“Is it?” He looked at her questioningly.

“Yes. You look good Pappa.” She plonked a kiss on his forehead and slipped the picture back into the diary. She picked up the chipped tea cup from the table. God knows why Pappa wanted tea only in this cup. Most days he lived in a haze yet he cribbed if she got him tea in another cup.

Eddie looked out of the window desperately trying to remember his wedding day but nothing would come. Not even one fragment. He sighed. There was no point. He got up and walked to his cupboard and pulled out a shirt.

“Pappa what are you doing?”

Eddi did not reply as he silently slipped on the faded blue shirt. Dolly walked in the room holding a pan, “You think I won`t know when you open the cupboard. Come on. Sit here.” She pushed him on the bed. 

“You know you can`t go alone. The doctor has said no.”

“What does the doctor know? I am fine”

“I will take you later. Let me finish my cooking.” Dolly said sternly.

Eddi glared at her but did not protest. He sat quietly for a few minutes. He heard the cooker blow whistles and then heard the tap running. Dolly would be washing utensils and this was his opportunity. He slipped out of the door silently and walked briskly. Even at 82 he was agile. He could even sprint a bit if he tried. Only Dolly believed he was incapable of doing anything without supervision. Some days she even insisted on feeding him, specially a curry or dal.

‘You will drop it all over the place Pappa.”

 But the days she urgently needed milk or eggs or bread, she  conveniently forgot the doctors instructions .She is just like her mother. Aala. He stopped in his tracks. The picture flashed in his mind.  Aala. His wife! How could he have forgotten her? The witch. He kept walking as memories came flooding back, a kaleidoscope of images nearly blinding him. He slowed his pace as he recalled sitting in his tiny one room flat in Khorshed Bagh.

“Eedu, just think about it. Her father has 22 properties in this city only. And some in Bahruch also. He will divide his property among the 3 daughters. At least 7 she will get.”

 Mamma was always good with numbers. Eddie sighed. Mummy was right. He must overlook bow legs, big bulbous nose, bulging hips. All of it. Aala could be his ticket to prosperity. The wedding was a simple affair. Mr Sooi was old and in a wheelchair. He wanted a court marriage for his daughter. “Whatever expenses we save I will give you in cash”. Aala was happy to get a husband and Eddi didn`t mind the cash. He wore his only suit for the wedding while Aala struggled to look pleasant in a beautiful ivory saree with multi coloured rossettes. They clicked that  picture after the registration at the local studio. 

The first couple of years were alright. They were blessed with 2 daughters. But soon after that Mr Sooi passed away. Without a will. And then began the tussle for his properties, house and bank locker. The 3 sisters filed cases of forgery and cheating against each other. The court battle started and dragged on with claims and counter claims. Aala would spend hours searching for papers, statements, property deeds and wait outside lawyers office trying hard to understand their gibberish. Eddie took over cooking and cleaning which had never been his forte and slowly life crumbled. The house was soon a stinky hole with dirty, sticky jam and ketchup bottles, stale bread and soggy biscuits. Every morning Eddi would buy 4 eggs and one packet of milk. He would meticulously place one egg on the wooden table for Aala and 2 eggs for his daughters near the stove. The milk packet would lie in the empty fridge till it was slit open to make ovaltine for the girls and milky tea for himself. The cobwebs in the house increased and the fine layer of dust soon became a thick blanket covering every corner of the house. Aala continued with the paperwork as Eddi struggled to plod through the days. Later Taadi became his beloved partner and most evenings he would lie sloshed in bed, too dazed to even eat the scraps of food Aala placed on the table. He couldn’t recall why they fought, but  most evenings he would stumble out of the house and Aala would scream, "Arrey ******** ! You have spoiled my life.”

The two girls Dolly and? And ? He wracked his brains. He couldn’t remember the other girl. He had hit a wall again. He looked around. He was in the middle of a huge garden. Eddi saw a wooden bench nearby and went and sat there. He could hear the faint siren of the ambulance and he remembered climbing in the van holding on to someone`s hand. Who was that? He squinted his eyes and tried hard  to concentrate. He was tired. He just didn’t want to push himself to remember. Maybe some things were best forgotten.

A is for Aala

Aala. No this isn’t about a clothes whitener. This is about a person- a woman to be precise- who lived in a Mohallla in a city in North India.  Aala was short and plump with a foul mouth. You could hear her screaming at her husband Eddy (pronounced Ed-di)  “Arrey Haraami, pacchi tamey jataveesh?” All the kids in the neighbourhood were scared of this crochety woman.  Every morning you could spot her limping to buy a half loaf of bread from the panwala just at the entrance of the Mohalla. She didn’t talk to any of her neighbours and no one really cared to even make small talk with this grouchy woman. No one had ever been to her house, except Mrs Sinha ,who had once ventured into this dangerous territory. “She is really weird. You know she keeps the bread on her table and no one is allowed to touch it. Not even her daughters”.

How do you know that? “Mrs Tripathi mumbled trying to chew her paan and spit at the same time. “You are antaryaami”?

 “ Na rey baba, I am no anataryaami. I am just a simple woman surrounded by paagal people. I know, because one day her daughter asked me for 2 slices of bread and so I went into my kitchen and got 2 slices on a plate but when I came back to the door she was now where in sight!  So I walked to their stinky apartment. And what do I see from the half open door? The small loaf sitting on the wooden table. Why would the girl, what`s her name ?

“Sillo”, Mrs Singh  provided the name helpfully. 

“Ya Silloo.  Why would she come to borrow 2 slices when she had that half loaf at home ? Socho ? And then she just snatched the plate without even saying thank you and shut the door. They still haven’t returned my plate! A few days back I ran out of milk and needed just half a cup to make tea- You know Mr Sinha cannot drink black tea, this man I tell you’’

“So what happened then behenji?” interrupted Mrs Tripathi.

“Arrey this Parsi woman scowled and said “doodh nahi hai”. I saw there was one small packet on top of the small refrigerator. I pointed it to her and she said that the packet is Eddy`s and he`s not home. And then slammed the door on my face. What kind of husband-wife are they? My loaf, your milk Hey Ram I tell you these Parsees".

“Mrs Sinha it is not about being Parsee. This woman is only paagal,” Mrs Tripathi declared.

There were talks that Aala came from a wealthy Parsi family and had inherited a few properties-even if they were old dilapidated buildings in a small town-and a trunk full of beautiful sarees. No one had of course seen her wear any. She was always dressed in an old chequered nighty which just fell short of her ankles. Grey hair with random and rare streaks of dirty brown bunched in a messy ponytail No not like the ones that girls deliberately wear these days! Some days she would look a little clean with a knee-length floral frock and broad flat brown sandals with straps holding on desperately on to knotty rough ankles.  On these days you could spot ugly veins protruding from her dry scaly calves. She would wear a chequered handkerchief tied like a scarf, knotted under her wobbly chin.  Apparently, on these rare days she went to the local bank to withdraw cash. Sanju and his friends would wait patiently on their balconies with their ammunition- paper planes and little stones. The minute Aala crossed their apartment and whoosh the planes would land all around Aala accompanied by sharp little stones falling like confetti all over her. Aala would look up viciously trying to spot the by now invisible devils , “Tamaara gadhera ma baap kiainya che?”  Sanju and his friends would duck down and giggle.

And then one early morning the Mohalla was rudely awakened by the screaming sirens of an ambulance. Aala had collapsed outside the bathroom. The whole mohalla gathered around the ambulance as they wheeled in Aala strapped on to the stretcher. Eddy climbed in wearily and the ambulance sped away. Days melted into weeks and then months. Aala did not come back. No one missed Aala`s loud screams, nor did they ask about her. Except the children in the Mohalla. They didn’t have their target for paper planes and stones. Little Sanju asked his mother one afternoon, “Mummy, when will Aala come back”.

" I don’t know beta and I don’t care".  Sanju slumped back in his bed dejectedly.