Sunday, January 18, 2009

Just a Housewife !

So..what are you up to these days??

Welllll…not much. You tell me?

You mean you are not working? Not even part time??

Noooo..too much on my platter right now. It is tough..No time..

Why NO time? You are doing nothing! Wasting your time. What`s` wrong with you? So much you studied. For what?

Well I did because I enjoyed it.

Hah. Just TP? What`s wrong with you.?How can you just while away your time? Do something concrete in life. Don`t be JUST a housewife.

Well, I am not JUST a housewife. Do you know how much effort it requires to run a house? I am the CEO of my house and have to face staff attrition, poor quality work, budget constraints.. everything like you do in your office.

Yeah.. Why not?

What do you mean why not? It requires serious management skills to run a house efficiently..

Yeah and the ones who are working don`t have efficient homes. Right? Stop giving silly excuses to cover your lazy attitude.

Of couse they do .But I am sure they have to make tough choices.And what do you mean Lazy? I get up at 6am to ensure that my son leaves for school with hot lunch from home. And when DH is up he has milk for his tea. Get the house cleaned. Oversee all the maids, iron out their fightings (Yes in -house fights happen here too) pay the bills, buy groceries..

Hah !So what is so great about it? My 8th pass Mother does the same and if I may say so..maybe more efficiently.

Yes . maybe,but that`s because she has 34 years of experience.

So ? You are so educated. Living in a modern city ,all household help at your beck and call, modern appliances, take away joints, home delivery of grocery ,medicines and You DON`T have TIME??? How crass is that?

Crass? Really ?Well I have no time because I love to maintain a beautiful house,and also love myself. So I go for Yoga, singing, lunches with my friends, for a walk in the evening. And I plan to learn an instrument and a language soon. And I do NOT feel guilty about it. I help my children with their school work, my husband with his official documents and bank work. So where is the question of wasting my education?

In short whiling away. And what is this teaching my kids? Have you lost it? A 12th grader can handle it. Bank work ? Really? A peon can do that. Why did you block a seat and deny someone needy of a chance?

Needy? As in monetarily? And what about my need? My desire to learn ?

All rubbish. It`s true the more you study the more you get confused in life. I wish a talented person like you would not just while away their time.

Grrr..It is my life and I choose to live it like that. I will work when I feel like.

Hmm Sad . But what to do. You want to be JUST a Housewife..


D said...

The best thing about being a housewife is if you can be one without guilt!

Piper .. said...

I cant imagine our lives to be so similar!!

Read this - a similar post i`d done last june.

Sandhya said...

I too have faced these types of conversations, Aarthi!

But I too feel that I have managed my house very well and my children are proud of me and vice versa. They have come out well because I was there to take care of them, always. I left my job when my elder son was 8 months old. Never felt bad for that! Attended all the classes, like music, tailoring, bakery and others, after I was 35!

I am proud of my decision to be JUST A HOUSEWIFE! Write often, Arthi!

Iya said...

Y not??
if this is something that makes you happy, brings a smile on your face and you feel satisfied and content at the end of the day then y not?

DeeplyDip said...

i know...everyone has a choice to decide what they want to do with their person's idea of perfect living is very different from another's and they are both right in their own ways...and i believe education can never go is reflected in every small/big thing you do - enjoy life and tell this friend of yours to get a life too!

Renu said...

wah AArti, great post and so true..must have heard hundred times....and even many woman think so that if they dont work and EARN MONEY, they are doing nothing, but if they are working outside what if their house is dirty, so what if their children are not getting good fresh, hygienic food, so what if they pay a tutor for tuitions,so what if they are all all the time stressed out and not in a happy mood, so what if over all they are spending all their salary in managing the things they have to outsource becaus of the what THEY are imp,as they are earning, working outside is the biggest thing and looking after others is considered better than looking after your own finance or house....they are worth less...what an attitude.
hats off to you !

How do we know said...

this is gross!! it is ur decision what u want to be. A housewife is a LOT of work, most of it thankless.. hats off to u for being one!

Smitha said...

It is so sad isn't that people are so judgemental about things? Its sad that we have to justify why we choose to be a homemaker or a working women. Its bad both ways. If you are a homemaker - you're wasting your education, and if you chose to work - oh your poor husband and kids - do you really need the money? Crazy isn't it? Loved your post!

Reflections said...

Nice post my space!!!!!

Here in Dubai...believe it or not, the first question one woman asks another after Hi is "Are u working???"

I used to feel bad 5 yrs back but not anymore....infact I take gr8 pains to tell them since we can manage beautifully on my better half's aamdani, so I get to relax.
U shd see their faces...bitchy I knw but these kind of comments get my goat:-S

Sumit Takkar said...

its an unending debate..we've grown up seeing our mom's as housewives and it all seems perfect.imagining it otherwise is really tough.and ive always felt that housewives have better family life...its very subjective.just that u should not be a housewife or a working woman forcefully... it should be by choice only

Nisha said...

did that comment came by sumits name??i was logged on with his id :)

my space said...

@D ..that`s the toughest part..every and anyone is so preachy and reproachful that you end up feeling stupid/unwanted/selfish and what not.
@piper....yeah we are all so different yet so similar!!
@sandhya :-)...thanks but honestly i get rattled and at times feel guilty too..
@iya..that`s the thing..right now am enjoying it..but am sure will get restless in some time...
@ deeply dip..thank you ji! but as i said at times even i wonder if i have lost it!
@ Renu...see i feel if you have to earn you hve to..but if by grace of God it is not a nessicity then one should choose and No one should question that..What bugs me is the constant badgering about WASTING my time and education!
HDWK...thanks ! I wish i could feel so good about it too!
@Smitha..catch 22 situation na?
@reflections..great..must do that next time ;-)
@Nisha..yeah came by sumits name..
well I won`t` say they have a better family life cos I have known many working moms who are equally good ,if not better, at handling their house..the question is not of who is better but why does one have to feel bad about it?

Mampi said...

We are proud of you...
whatever you are doing...

you are so creative.

Michelle said...

Ha! thanks, I am glad I am not the only one who sees that I am not just a house wife!!

Balvinder Singh said...

On the occasion of the Republic Day of our country, i take this opportunity to present this award to my blogger friends who have made a difference by writing their frank opinions in their blogs as well, as in the comment columns of other blogs. These bloggers have not written any sensational or luscious stories to attract traffic to their blogs, but they have put down in prose as well, as verse, whatever they have felt strongly about, may it be about their personal lives or about a burning issue of the society. The sole purpose of their writing has been to make a difference. I wish that their ideas may fructify and bring a change in the society for better. I salute them all. Arti, please pick up your award from my blog.

Manish Raj said...

Arti..I understand the value..and I am so happy to have found you among the sea of bloggers...

Shalom said...

I went home to Bombay a couple of weeks ago. A close family friend asked me what I was upto. I said I'm a homemaker. She was stunned; girl like me with a Master's education, just a housewife??? She pleaded with me to "not fall in the same rut" as my mother :)

I smile sympathetically & nod my head, but do such comments bother me? Not really. I guess everybody has different priorities and motivations for making their choices in life. I'm secure and happy in what I've chosen which is why such comments roll off my back.

And I've always felt that its people who are insecure and unhappy themselves who take the effort to pointedly diminish others' worth or ridicule their lifestyle.

Goofy Mumma said...

Oh My! I am so with you. I had done a post on this just a while back. People can be so stupid at times. With such fixed ideas that they don't go any further and understand.

Hopped over on learning you are Deeply Dip's sis. Read three posts and loved them all, am blog rolling you!!