Finding Myself

 

This year has been a game-changer in many ways. The pandemic hit us all and how! And then came The Lockdown ! The unthinkable had happened. Life came to a grinding halt. I have gone through a gamut of emotions- anger, denial , depression, elation, contentment during this period. Let me start at the beginning of the lockdown.

 I always had a hectic schedule- I needed the buzz to make me feel alive hence I had very busy weeks and even busier weekends. My days were slotted neatly into various activities. I love routine and structures you see. Thrice a week  I would rush to my Yoga class early in the morning, driving full speed to reach in time( I rarely did- I was always a couple of minutes late )and then would rush through my practices so that I would reach back home in time to leave again for work !  Once a week we had a 15 minute Pranayama session in Yoga class, which I almost always skipped, as I just could not sit and observe my breath! There was no time.  My days were a blur-rushing, running, always on the go! From yoga to work to grocery shopping to tailor to library to club...it was a whirlwind !

Still, I did manage to find time for a singing class, an occasional lunch with friends and even late night movies. I took great pride in announcing to whoever was listening that I ticked all the boxes. But in this maddening routine, somehow, I had lost touch with myself. Life was on an auto-pilot mode.

And then came The Lockdown. Everything came to a standstill. The initial couple of weeks I felt I was on a much needed break and I indulged myself by binge-watching shows, eating at odd hours and lazing away on my couch. Then the dullness started creeping in and there were days when I felt angry and at the same time helpless. I was lost. There was no routine to anchor me. I had thrived on activity and the lockdown meant no more running and no more rushing to finish chores and ticking the boxes. I had always wished for a day with more than 24 hours and now it seemed the 24hours had turned into 48 hours!  Thankfully, gradually I started slowing down and a sense of calmness enveloped me warmly as I started appreciating the simple joys of life. I accepted the fact that I may have to live like this for a few months.

 This acceptance was a game changer.

 I no longer stressed over the absence of house-help. Before the lockdown I would go berserk if the house-help was late by a few minutes. No more! I realised I could manage a lot of work on my own if I didn’t stress about it. With nowhere to go, no one to meet, nowhere to commute I started enjoying my me-time. I practiced yoga and Pranayama every day. Yes I can now do breathing exercises peacefully. I started doing riyaz, resumed reading, writing on my blog , long conversations with family and even started an Instagram account to share my writings and thoughts. I had started on my journey of self-love and self care and was enjoying the me-time.

Though the lockdown has eased and now life is limping back to its previous avataar and my days are almost back with a vengeance- thanks to WFH- I still have some me-time and I make sure I do spend it leisurely doing things I love and not merely doing them to tick the boxes.

This lockdown has made me calm and has helped me re-discover myself! I spend time doing things I love and  I cherish my time. I know this time will pass too but now I will ensure that  I do not lose myself in the maze again!

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s My Friend Alexa Campaign.

Reflection-A to Z Challenge



Reflections lead to learning. I agree. It allows you to relive your past and if it has been a pleasant one it adds to your sense of well being. This is exactly what the reflection on this challenge has help me to achieve.

Years back, thanks to my niece Nisha and sister Deepika, I started blogging. Life happened and the blogosphere faded away from my life. And then came the 'Lockdown'. Once the chaos started settling I started thinking about getting back to blogging. Earlier in the week a chance conversation about A to Z Challenge at a read meet got me thinking. I registered. Just for a lark.

April 1 dawned and I had no clue what I was going to write about.  Writing fiction seemed easy and I decided to write short stories. But did I struggle? Of course I did, and how!! With no back-ups ( alright, I had 3-4 stories  which I edited and uploaded) but most were written and posted on the same day. Did I want to give up? Yes -many times. The pressure of planning, writing and editing, along with endless household chores and work commitments, drove me crazy. Thanks to the encouragement by my fellow-bloggers, I plodded. And here I am with 26 posts under my belt!

I know planning helps, but this month I realised how imperative it is  to produce good work, so hopefully next time around I will be in a better place. The satisfaction of achieving a goal as well as building the courage to share my work have been my key takeaways from this challenge. Thank you#BlogChatterA2Z Challenge for this opportunity.

I read many interesting blogs and enjoyed the journey immensely. Here is a list of my favourite bloggers. Show some love to them and hop on to their blogs. You will love every one of them. 
 Nisha Punjabi  Sonia Dogra , Noor ,  Ira Mishra,  Arti Jain Shweta Suresh,  Srivalli,  Pradeep Nair,  CRD

Inspired by some of you I have also jumped on to Instagram. Do follow, comment and share if you like it.

vignettesbyarti


Much love to you my dear readers for reading, supporting and helping me live my dream.

Do keep dropping by.