So Coool

A bright, sunny ,lazy Sunday afternoon.
I was driving and humming, with my daughter T and her friend N sitting and chatting away in the backseat.I let their constant chatter wash me over and continued driving and humming. Suddenly, got interested when I heard T say.."At least One we should get."
I turned and smiled, “ What do you want T?”









T ,smiling beatifically, "A fracture Mamma.”
"Fracture? Are you mad?"
N :"Aunty ,it is sooo cool.”
"Cool? A fracture? It`s painful!”
T and N both insisted that it was more cool than painful.
"Mamma When I get a fracture , I will get a plaster. And then All my friends are going to write on it. And N will stick that Barbie sticker for me and she will even draw smileys, and a butterfly too!"
N " Ya, I will. And if I get it first, then T will do it for me.I want it on my leg."
T : ' Hmm. I prefer the arm."
N: "And you know Aunty ,my brother is getting braces."
T :"So lucky na? I wish I would get them. Mamma ,don`t you think I need at least plates? See this tooth. Its all crooked.”
"So?”
"Please Mamma ,can I get braces. Please. I want the blue ones."
N : "No don`t take blue. Take green or pink. My brother is getting Blue. My mamma says I can`t get them because theres Nothing wrong with my tooth!"
I glanced through the rear view mirror and saw two long faces!
So unhappy that they have perfect teeth and No broken limbs.
The pressure of being uncool is getting on. Sigh!




pic courtsey : http://www.prevention.com/
www.superstock.com/

LOUSE-Y TALES

Yesterday, while combing my daughter`s beautiful tresses, I stumbled upon-hold your breath- a Louse!  A fat dark brown louse crawling full speed. I gingerly pulled it out and showed it to my daughter.

 "EEEWWW! Mammma ! What`s that?"

 "A louse, what else? Who is your partner in your class?"

 "A boy!" she grimaced.

 I was frantic. I started combing her hair carefully, concentrating hard to find any such creepy crawlies. And then to my horror spotted two nits(I think that`s what the lice eggs are called). I ran a fine comb through her hair and out they came on its teeth and I showed  it to my daughter. She looked horrified and at the same time fascinated. 

"Oh ! So these will hatch now? After how many days Mamma?" 

I didn`t know. I mean I have no clue about their life span and have just concentrated on keeping away from them.

 "And now they won`t hatch. You threw their Mamma also!" 

I felt a little guilty looking at those nits and then caught hold of my sentimental side. These were out to suck my daughter`s blood!

 "And Mamma do the lice sit on the eggs to hatch them? Like the hen does?" 

I had no clue. 

"Well I hope they hatch into baby boys. What are boy lice called Mamma?" Boy Lice? 

And why hatch into boys? I was intrigued. Why would my daughter who adores girls in every shape and size( her youngest friend is a chubby 1 ½ year old) want baby boy lice?

 "Why do you want baby boy lice?" 

"Well they can`t lay eggs or make babies. So when they die I am free of lice! Simple." 

Simple logic eh?

 Psst…we have shampooed her hair twice with medicated shampoo and spent our waking hours frantically Looking for any further specimens!

I Don`t Know

Last night DH went for the wedding reception of my dear friend G. I could not make it and was really looking forward to all the details. So though it was way past my sweet dreams time ,I waited for DH to come. And this is what followed.

DH = Darling Husband. EW: Eager Wife.

DH: What a party man! You should have come. Awesome place .

EW: Really? How was it?

DH: Awesome.

EW: Was it all done up? Flowers and all ?

DH: Flowers? What flowers? I don`t know.

EW: Arrey you said na, it was awesome. So was it done up with orchids or marigolds? And had they draped tissue or was there a theme?

DH: Orchids. The purple looking flowers ? I don`t know, I didn`t see all that.

EW: Trust you. So ?

DH: So what?

EW; Arrgh.. what else? You said awesome party .What was awesome?

DH: (CONFUSED) Party was awesome. What else.

EW: Ok .Whatever. Did you wish G? And did you give her the envelope?

DH: Envelope? No! Sorry I forgot!

EW: Forgot? Are you crazy? You go for the..

DH: It`s ok. We will send it across later. (G is my neighbor).

EW: And how was G looking?

DH: What do you mean looking? Just as she always does. Nice. She did something strange to her hair. But still –nice.

EW: Yeah ? What had she done? Wore it Mumtaz style or that old 70`s style?

DH: I don`t know, HOW? But she looked good.

EW: And what was she wearing?

DH (Eyebrows drawn in concentration) I THINK Lehenga, or may be a saree. I don`t know.

EW: And what colour did she wear ? Did she coordinate with the groom`s outfit?

DH(Thoroughly perplexed look).Color. Must be red . That’s what brides wear. Groom…I don`t know.

EW: What do you mean don`t know. You were sleep walking or what? And Food?

DH: (Relieved and brightened Look!) Arrey awesome food and drinks.

EW: Yeah? What did you eat?

DH: Chicken –really good. And there was a live Thai curry counter.

EW: Live Thai curry counter? What were they doing?

DH: Serving us piping hot curry what else?

EW: Whatever. : And did they serve alcohol?

DH: Of course. There was Bacardi Limon, Vodka, Teachers , Black label whisky and Yeah Sula wine. Even the cocktails were good. Screw Driver, Kaprioshka, Bloody Mary…

EW: And did you meet P? How was she looking? She wore that huge rock that D was talking about?

DH: P? Ya I met her, but diamonds? I don`t know.

EW: You don`t know a thing!

DH: So much I told you and you say I don`t know a thing? With you women around I really don`t know.