Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Cow


May 1

It’s bloody hot. Dying for a swim. But just saw myself in a swimsuit. I want to break that full length mirror.
Sherry called me a beached whale! Bloody shark. That`s what she is.
If only she would put on some weight. All I do is look at food and I am already 500 gms up.
I am starting the Diet tomorrow. For sure.
May 5

Its Elena`s birthday. We got her the yummiest gooey chocolate cake. Loaded with walnuts, chocolate chips, it was divine. Of course at the end of it we were sick of the sweetness. So had to buy a bag of chips.
Saw Sherry on the way. She is just getting thinner everyday. So Diet on from tomorrow.
May 12

I broke the heels of my favorite pair of stilettos. Brian says the weight snapped it.
Weight my foot. How I would love to crush him under that same weight!
May 23

Mamma is coming this weekend. Better stock the refrigerator with some salad, fruit and all that healthy stuff.
The chocolates will freak her out.
Why do I have to be thin?
I love my full cheeks, butts and bosom too. Well rounded. And that`s a shape isn`t it?
May 28.
Mamma`s stay was disastrous! She only complained about my weight, eating habits. She called me a cow or was it a goat? Always munching she grumbled.


June 1

I vomited my lunch. I feel relieved. How much I ate. I am trying not to munch. But it`s tough.
The Gymming routine isn`t helping either. I am just so so hungry after the workout.
And I don`t want to diet.
I have found an easier way. I just eat and then vomit it out.
There. I enjoy my food without the fear of putting on.
I will try vomiting my dinner too.
June 15

Today I vomited all my meals. Gives me a great high!
Cow. How I hate that word!
June 28

Saw Sherry today. She says I look sick. She is mean.
Brian says so too.
Hey ,but the mirror doesn`t lie. I still look like a beached whale.
July 2

Brian came over for dinner.
He frowned constantly. He thinks I am not eating much.
Funny. And he always teased me that I could swallow a horse when hungry.
I had to lock myself in the bathroom to vomit.
I played the stereo to divert him. But he knocked twice or thrice.
He gave me a strange look when I insisted I was fine.
July 6

Brian thinks I am sick.
He called my Mom from my cell –phone. I had to snatch it from him.
Mamma called me later. She sounds worried.
I wonder why?
July 12

I just don`t want to get up. Haven`t been out since 3 days. Don`t want to talk either.
Mamma has left so many messages on the phone.
Surprisingly not once she called me a cow!


Anorexia is a serious eating disorder.
To know more about this see this site
.

Pic courtsey www.youthnoise.com

15 comments:

Mampi said...

The yearning for approval of your dear ones on the basis of physical traits is totally harmful. We are more than our bodies, we are also beautiful minds, we are also sharp brains.
Time the obsessed ones understood.
Nicely put, thanks for sharing.

my space said...

Mampiji.thank you yaar..aap hamesha pehle hote ho comment karne ko..so you deserve the early bird prize!
Yes exactly..most of us and teenagers sp are obssesed with their bodies..why even children today are conscious about body image..and this negativity could result in a disaster.

Renu said...

we should yearn for healthy body ,not thin or for any figure type.I feel that most of the people are obsessed with wt . and looks and keep giving suggestions and comments to other people , making them conscious of their wt...not fair.

Sandhya said...

The story is nicely written. Good blog. My relative, when she was in 10th std. behaved like this. Some boy told her she was fat and this girl started dieting....she was taking milk without sugar, no rice, phulka with just boiled vegetables in the beginning. Then stopped having her dinner. She did not like fruits also because it was sweet. She became just bones. Her periods stopped and had a ghastly look. We could see her skin drying and had a powdery coat. Hair started falling in bunches. Then, her mother took her to a gynaecologist and the doctor advised her how to keep a healthy diet. Slowly, she started eating more, taking coconut water etc. Now she is doing her MBA and still her hair has not stopped falling in bunches. Thank god, the bad phase is over. She seems to be OK now.

After a long time, she said that she was planning to take part in the school beauty contest!

Reflections said...

U've written this very emphatatically. Anybody u knw???

Most people in India are unaware of this problem but tht doesnt mean it doesnt exist.

DeeplyDip said...

nice one...
I agree one needs to be thin - thin not for aesthetic reasons alone but for health reasons as well. If we look good on the outside, we feel more self confident. At the same time, one needs to maintain a healthy nutritious diet and rememebr there are no short cuts in life. Crash dieting may help you lose weight quickly, but it will also harm you in many ways.
Good post :)

D said...

I felt sick reading this - sometimes pukey, sometimes like a cow!

But we've made out weight to be such a weighty problem, things like these are bound to happen. As long as you're healthy should it really matter if you're fat or thin?

Indian Home Maker said...

This was useful. Our obsession starts with being thin for good health and good looks, and if not controlled can end with anorexia. In real life I find attractive looking women, charming, confident, elegant come in all shapes and sizes and then you are heard saying, "She is not skinny/fair/tall/sharp nosed/, saucer eyed (lol), still she's pretty".
Media is also responsible for this.

Iya said...

very well written and the point comes out so beautifully..

the problem lies in not what others have to say but how women feel about themselves...

the superficial becomes so strong that women themselves forget to see the inner beauty...don’t intelligent minds, sharp wits, and a caring heart account for anything ???

How do we know said...

this is sad.. more like... poignant. and definitely well written.

Nidhi said...

Hey ! Liked the way you put the issue of anorexia in words... Not many people are aware of it and it is increasing day by day in young girls...

If only we could understand the importance of a healthy body and not run after the Size Zero trend...

Iya said...

hey Blog rolled you!!!

Pinku said...

thats a very scary scenario...

well presented.

my space said...

@renu..unfortunately we first judge people by their physical appearance and weight seems to weigh heavily on all our minds!

@sandhya..i hope the girl is out of it now and realises the imortance the good health..

@reflections..no but have seen lots of friends battle with weight..

@deeplydip..yes you look good you feel good but when one gets obssesed by any aspect in life its bound to land him in trouble.

@d..sorry;-( didnt mean to disgust anyone but the problem is very sickening!

@IHM ..yeah sad but true..

@Iya..most of us at that tender age are still stuck on physical aspects..and thanx for blogrolling :-)

@hdwk..very sad..

@nidhi..hmm girls are obssesed with size zero...

@pinku..yeah it is a scary scenario..

Reflections said...

Come & collect ur award:-D